Friday, June 17, 2016

Taking a break from Fitness and Blogging - But now I am back!

Last blog post - August 12, 2015

For a long time, I was too scared to even log back here onto my blog because I did not want to face the fact that I gave up doing something that I used to love so much and put in so much effort into.  

It's been almost 10 months since I last blogged. And the fact is, I had been slacking way before that. When I first started this blog in November, I wrote 64 blog posts in just the space of 2 months, while in 2015 I only wrote 20 blog posts throughout the whole 8 months.

As for fitness, those of you who are still following my journey on Instagram would know that I also took a 3-4 months break since last August and I only started getting back into it around 4 months ago in Feb 2016. 

As someone with the word "determination" tattooed on my body, I have always believed passion alone is not enough because hard work and determination are what will take you far. Unfortunately, I failed to keep up with my own motto when it comes to fitness and blogging and there is no excuse for it.

My priorities simply changed throughout these two years and my balance in health and fitness went through a roller coaster journey with countless ups and downs. 

When I first started my fitness journey and this blog, I was gyming 4-6 times a week (Kayla Itsines' Bikini Body Guide), quitting alcohol and eating a completely clean diet ( That was when I would frequently share different healthy recipes via instagram and here on my blog  and I had so much fun connecting and engaging with the fitness community online. However, I got to a point where I was too obsessed with exercising  and being extremely strict with my diet that I ended up having a slight bulimia problem. 



In search of a more sustainable and balanced lifestyle, I became less restrictive with my diet and I also started exploring other workout options i.e. pole dancing, and I immediately got hooked. I realized fitness was not just about getting skinnier and having abs, which were my initial goals to work out. I used to look at pole dancing as something that I would never be able to do - no way I could do a pose like that! I thought my body did not have that kind of strength and flexibility. But I was proven wrong. Every time I went to a pole dancing class, I would be amazed by what my body could do and the progress was very addicting. 

As my full time job was also getting busier, my priorities shifted and I began to spend less time doing the BBG (The Bikini Body Guide) and making healthy food and posting recipes online - I guess that's when I engaged less through social media because I did not have as much to post. I also started to drink and party again as summer was approaching.

My low point of this journey was after I moved to Seoul, Korea for work. When I first arrived, I thought that it was the time for me to take my  fitness journey to the next level because I was there alone and I would not have as much distractions. After first 2 weeks of clean eating and hard core training, I realized I was not happy. 

Having the opportunity to be in a foreign country for only 3 months, I wanted to try everything and make the most out of my experience. I started to choose socializing / eating and drinking with new friends instead of spending off work time alone in the gym, and I soon began to lose all motivation to lead a healthy lifestyle. 


I felt like I was on exchange in university again - I finally found that feeling of being young, wild and free again and I did not want to let it go. By the second and third month, I ended up only going to the gym once, and I ate and drank like there's no tomorrow. 

Because of my wild and unstable lifestyle, I also almost ruined my 2 years relationship with my boyfriend back home with having a lot of drama in Korea. By the end of my 3 months work relocation, I finally flew back to Hong Kong on a Sunday after another night of crazy partying and drinking and I threw up 4 times on my flight - it was the worst flight of my life. 

That was when it hit me. As someone who used to have an alcohol problem (my story as a party girl in university, it took me one year of hard work and determination to reach my fitness and health goals so that I can be my best self and to live my best life - but 3 months of letting loose seemed to take me back to zero, both physically and mentally. I was once again my immature YOLO self who seemed to lack the ability to grow up.

Fitness wise, I tried going back to the gym once in a while upon returning to Hong Kong but I was very disappointed by how quickly my strength and stamina went down after only a 3 months break, and I was once again feeling insecure and scared to be wearing a cropped top working out in the gym. The strength and confidence that took me a year to build just disappeared. It was as if the one year of fitness journey did not happen. I understood that it would take time to pick it back up again, but with another long work + vacation trip at the end of 2015, I was struggling to  prioritize my workouts and diet until early 2016. 

Frustrated, I knew even though it might be even harder than the first time, I needed to restart this fitness journey again, not for anyone but for myself. If I did it once, I know I can do it again.

Remember why you first started.

 There might be ups and downs, but that's why it is called a journey. It is not about being perfect, it is about the effort you are willing to put in. And when you bring that effort every single day, that's where transformation happens. One thing that I sometimes forget is that, this is not a race but a lifelong marathon.

"Because I go when you can't go any further. Because easy will no longer suffice. Because I don't just get better. Because I get better than great and strive for perfection. Because I know my limits and I defy them daily. Because I don't stop when I am tired. I stop when I am done. Because I know pain is weakness leaving my body. Because I have what it takes even if it takes all that i have got. Because I am greater than my obstacles." - my motivation to get back to the gym, explore different ways to work out and start Crossfit 4 months ago 

Hope you enjoy reading about my journey. I know that many of you reading this  are also going through struggles of your own and I guess I just want to let you know that you are not alone.

Much love,
Emi xx
Instagram: @stayfitandtravel
Facebook: Stay Fit and Travel
Snapchat: stayfitntravel


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